The Problem is me

Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet

The problem is not the problem, but the problem is your attitude about the problem..

Captain Jack Sparrow said..


“The problem is not them but yours” one of the person who I loved said to me. Emotionaly of course, its broke my heart. I just silent, no talk, just quit.

She is right, absolutly, I am a asshole. The man who cant control his emotion, the man with all of his weakness.

Sad..? yes, very sad ofcourse. I have think about this, she was right. What can I do? The people around me was more asshole than me. Could be they was change me?

I don’t know, maybe yes and maybe not.

What should I do to be normal, to be my self..? I am alone, no one can understand me. If I try to talk with person who I think will be understand me. There was end with pain, I become a looser in he or she face. They loved it, like it. Continue reading


Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet

One of my friend has told me that, there was a few thing cant you control on deep in your self. One of them was desire. That feelings was natural, every living creature have it. Animals and Plants have it, and of course human also have it.

This kind was our need, every human want it. In modern life, there was no reason to not enjoy it. But in traditional society, there was sacral ritual before you do that. Its pure, holy, and sacred. You must be a good person before do that, have a personality, ready for a new life and new responsibilty, and many else. There was not just a sex activity, but the pure and holy relationship between two person and two family.

But now, in this time. Sex was one of the habit in this life, very terrible for me, because I am the East Man become from the conservative background. Here in east, sex was a prohibited thing to talk and of course its illicit to do before married. Continue reading

Me & You

Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet

Read the other blog’s make me shame of my self
You have a good & nice blog, and inspiration post
The theme also beautiful

Than I did
Not good enough
cant we compare with yours

Just a nice and bad blog’s
hate it
love it

I try to be better,

wish I can Continue reading

In My Weakness

Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet

So sad on every view

So long on every moment

So hurt on every step


On My Fragile

Its open for an attack

Its open for every strike

Its open for any bad thing



No place for a weak man

No place for a looser

No place for a gentle

No place for an honest


Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet


Full of competition

be The Best for every day

Attacking each other Continue reading

Attention Please

imagesAttention please..

If there someone who can you ask to do anything..

Please him to my place..

I want him to replace my place..

Attention Please

If there someone who have good looking,

Ready smile,




A leader ship spirit,

or anything positif like that

Please you tell me.. Continue reading

The Tropical Land

I have told you about my city in my last post. Here the picture, I don’t know this picture was beautiful or not. For me, this is prety enough.

I am not a good photographier, still learn and need input from you..^_^

kec.talawi (1)

tiered rice fields & cottage

tak boncah

the road in the waist hill

silungkang tigo (16)

coconut tree in the edge

Continue reading


Ilustration Picture: Internet

Ilustration Picture: Internet

What I feel now was much better than before. The situation more good for me, my boss was full of attention to me. I feel sory to her, because before this I has negative thingking for her. In fact, she try to make a policy to make me better.

Even I have feel hard to come back to my city. My village was 80 Km from the city where I have a job. When I go home, my feeling was much better. Much comfortble than before, stay with my family, my mother, father, sister, and my brother. Even I try to make my heart strong enough, but that is not enough. When Iam here, I feel bad, because I should meet with the stubborn people. Often loosing my mind about this.

One day, with one of my friend from the office, I go around the city, give our bulletin (office bulletin) for the school and government office. Its make me more better. My city is not like the city in your mind, much of our territory was still the village. Comprise with the hills, valleys, rivers, rice field, and mountains. Not much straight and smooth road here. Much of them was full of curve and downhill here. You can imagine it self, how full of adventure my city it is. Continue reading